In this episode of The Matcha Guardians, Diana Weil and Elara Hadjipateras share intimate and vivid details of their birth stories, offering a raw and honest perspective on childbirth. They reflect on their experiences with humor, vulnerability, and practical insights, highlighting both the beauty and unpredictability of the journey to motherhood.
Elara begins by recounting her scheduled c-section due to her son Koa’s breech position. She recalls the surreal and calm lead-up to the procedure, marked by routine moments like packing her hospital bag and discussing home renovations with her husband, Peter, in the operating room. Despite initial nerves about the epidural, the procedure itself was smooth and quick, lasting just 19 minutes. Her son’s immediate arrival brought immense joy, but her postpartum experience took a sharp turn with a severe and unexpected case of postpartum preeclampsia. This dangerous condition caused her blood pressure to spike, requiring an extended hospital stay, a magnesium drip, and constant monitoring. Elara describes the emotional and physical toll of this ordeal, including her determination to refuse a catheter and her struggle to control her anxiety-induced “white coat syndrome.” She credits her supportive family and nursing team for helping her navigate this challenging time.
Diana’s story is equally compelling but takes a different trajectory. Hoping for an unmedicated birth, she labored at home before rapidly progressing into intense, unrelenting contractions. Arriving at the hospital, her labor advanced quickly, but complications arose when she stalled at seven centimeters dilation. Despite hours of pushing, her son Elio’s position and her developing infection necessitated an urgent c-section. Diana recounts the physical and emotional demands of labor, the eventual relief provided by an epidural, and the bittersweet moment of meeting her son after he needed brief NICU intervention. Reflecting on the process, she shares her mixed emotions about the experience, emphasizing the mental resilience required for childbirth.
Both women underline the unpredictability of labor and the importance of advocating for oneself during medical care. They conclude by celebrating the transformative nature of motherhood, affirming that despite the hurdles, the arrival of their sons made it all worthwhile. In a future episode we will cover breastfeeding and "the fourth trimester" (after birth).
Speakers: Diana Weil, Elara Hadjipateras & Jon Gay
[Music Playing]
Voiceover (00:00):
Welcome to the Matcha Guardians Podcast, brought to you by matcha.com. Here we focus on the biggest trending health topics of our time, featuring the greatest and upcoming wellness advocates. Now, here are the Matcha Guardians, licensed dietitian, Diana Weil and Medical journalist, Elara Hadjipateras.
Diana Weil (00:20):
Hello, and welcome to this week's episode.
Elara Hadjipateras (00:23):
Hello-hello. So, so excited to be discussing our birth stories and fourth trimester on this week's episode.
Diana Weil (00:32):
We both wore our “Matcha Mama” sweatshirts, and for anyone listening and not watching, we've got “Matcha Mama” sweatshirts in honor of our birth podcast today.
Elara Hadjipateras (00:41):
Yes, because we are matcha mamas who definitely need matcha caffeine in order to live our lives. How many matchas are you having a day?
Diana Weil (00:49):
At least two. And so, Elara and I were actually just together, and she made me matcha. And it was the best matcha I'd ever had. And I was having maybe a little too much caffeine.
Elara Hadjipateras (01:00):
Stop, keep going, keep going. Stop. Yeah. I may have really juiced you up on not only the matcha, but maybe added like two to three little spoonfuls of sugar.
Diana Weil (01:10):
That's why it was so good.
Elara Hadjipateras (01:11):
Yeah. I think that's why it was so good, and you were feeling very energized.
Diana Weil (01:14):
I'm ready to go.
Elara Hadjipateras (01:16):
Yeah, exactly.
Diana Weil (01:16):
So, Elara, the end result was that you and I had the same birth, but in different ways.
Elara Hadjipateras (01:25):
Very different ways. So, we both had c-sections, got there in a different way. So, I found out that I was having a scheduled c-section because Koa was in a breech position, which if people aren't familiar with what breech means, it basically meant that his head, instead of being down on the birth canal to leave and enter the world, he was facing right side up.
I like to think it's because he had just a really good body awareness and wanted his feet facing down. Of course, it did feel a lot of the time feel like he was crushing grapes with his feet. So, I would kind of have random times right at the end of my pregnancy where I like really had to pee, maybe didn't make it to the bathroom sometimes.
So, basically by 37 weeks, a lot of my physicians in the medical group I was going to just said, “There's a really low chance of him flipping around.” And I tried everything. I tried going to an acupuncturist. I tried going to a chiropractor.
I was doing all these crazy inversions. I was in the bathtub with an ice pack on the top of my belly. Little guy didn't want to flip.
And then by at least 38 and a half weeks, I decided to schedule the C-section. They actually tried to encourage me to schedule it a week ahead of my due date. So, it would've been 39 weeks. I pushed to do it on my due date at 40 weeks. Because they don't want you going into natural birth and then things possibly going sideways.
So, I actually went into the hospital right on my due date, which was kind of crazy. So, it was December 29th, and I just scheduled it as if it was just any checkup or normal appointment. I got up in the morning, it was 8:00 AM, I had my bags packed.
Peter and I got in the car per usual. We got in the car and Peter was like, “Oh, I forgot something.” I had to run back in the house. Got back in the car, got to the hospital.
Diana Weil (03:10):
What were the emotions like getting into the car when you were like, “Okay, we're going to go and have a baby right now.”
Elara Hadjipateras (03:15):
I think I was so large and uncomfortable at that point that I was just kind of ready to rock. I was ready to be on the other side of it.
Diana Weil (03:24):
Did it feel real?
Elara Hadjipateras (03:26):
It felt very surreal. I think that in situations like that I tend to kind of flip a switch and I'm very unemotional. I just kind of go 15 minutes by 15 minutes, like this is what I'm doing.
I wasn't overthinking it. I remember before they had told me that I was going to require a c-section because in the state of Connecticut, I could not legally choose to have a natural birth with a baby in a breach position. I guess maybe if I had chosen to have a midwife and at home, that might be a different story.
But it was kind of like there was no choice. So, once I wrapped my head around that there was some turmoil, I had some emotional turmoil over that because I think as a woman, we all have this idea in our head of like, “Oh, an ideal birth story.”
I consider myself to be a tough cookie and I thought, I really don't want to do an epidural, and I want to do this naturally. And then you hear that you recover faster from a natural birth instead of a c-section. I really wanted to bounce back quickly, be back in the gym, have energy.
And I was worried about the aftermath for sure. I came to terms with it though, by the time the actual date rolled around. And it was kind of nice because you could mentally prepare for it. And I went in, and I was just kind of in — they put me in the gown, they started bringing in the paperwork signing. They said, “Okay, the anesthesiologist, he's going to have you sign this thing. He brings you into the operating room with your set nurse.”
They open up my back. They have you hold a pillow, you bend forward, the epidural goes in. Previously I'd been really nervous about the epidural, but then when the push came to shove on the day, like I said, I kind of just flipped the switch and just went with it. Didn't even really upset me in any way.
There were no tears, and it went in, and then, I was starting to feel numb, and I was starting to feel a little nauseous. And then they put something else in my IV at that point, which I think may have been something as well as morphine.
So, I started feeling really good. I remember feeling awesome and it was like about 10:00 AM and they leaned me back. I had my arms spread out like this, and then there was a big tarp. I did not see what was going on. Peter did not see what was going on. They brought him in after the epidural had set in because I think that would've been a bit traumatic for him to see like the needle going in.
And then by 10:19 he had arrived. Koa had arrived. I felt a little push and pull. And then meanwhile Peter, trying to distract me, starts talking about home improvements. He said, “Oh, I think that this could be cool to add a second level over here, potentially in five to six years.”
And talking about the planter in the front of our house, “We could put some stucco on it.” And I'm like, “Uh-huh. Yeah.” And then, you know, eventually I hear the doctor or the nurse (I don't remember which one, I was pretty high at the time, quite frankly), say, “He's out.”
And immediately I became fixated on I need to hear him cry. I need to hear him cry. Because that's what you hear, to make sure that they're okay. And it felt like a few seconds have passed. Of course, it wasn't … he cried quite instantaneously.
But then once he cried it was like, yes, things are going to be okay. And I felt this huge wave of relief and euphoria. And then, they bring him around so I could see him. And he is crying, and he is like really red.
And he was all dirty because as soon as he came out, he pooped all over the doctor and the nurse, immediately came out and projectile pooped onto the doctor's smock and the nurse, which is a good thing apparently, I learned this.
And then they bring him over and they're weighing him and stuff. And then Peter held him and then he brought him over for me to kind of just put my hand on his belly. I think what was hard is that I wasn't for whatever reason able to do — they didn't do the skin to skin contact right away in the ER.
So, he was with me and then they kind of took him away for about 15, 20 minutes, but then in the post-operation room, then they kind of took off my gown on top and then they brought him to me. And I think that's when it really hit me. And I cried with happiness, and it was like a very emotional moment. Any questions so far?
Diana Weil (07:20):
One of the things that I struggled with is saying I gave birth because I had a c-section. Was that something that you've struggled with? Was it a positive experience? Looking back, is there anything that you would've changed?
Elara Hadjipateras (07:34):
I don't know if I told you this or not, Diana, but I remember as soon as he came out and I saw him and there was that period of kind of sitting and they're stitching me up. And like I said, I was super high.
I remember laying there and thinking I could do this 10 more times. This rocked. This is so easy, this is great. I don't know what the big deal is with c-sections. I'm like, “This is fantastic.” There was nothing scary about it. It really went very, very smoothly. That was my initial thought. Things didn't really get scary for me until three to four days after birth.
Diana Weil (08:05):
Yeah. You've got quite a good story coming up of it wasn't so smooth sailing postpartum for Elara.
Elara Hadjipateras (08:11):
Yeah, exactly. Before we get there, why don't we like go back to you now in terms of how you ended up in the hospital.
Diana Weil (08:19):
Okay, so yeah. So, my birth story's a little bit longer. Elara and I kind of flipped. I had a harder time getting there, but then my postpartum was a little bit smooth sailing and Elara's… we've got to definitely stick around because Elara's got a good story coming up after-
Elara Hadjipateras (08:33):
It was unexpected.
Diana Weil (08:34):
Unexpected. After Koa was born. So, I gave birth at 39 weeks and five — well, I went into labor 39 weeks, five days. And the day that I went into labor.
Elara Hadjipateras (08:45):
Well, the night before I texted Diana, I was in Hawaii at the time and I had some spidey senses and so I didn't say, “Oh my God, are you going into labor?” Because I think that's like annoying thing for people to text you. I was just kind of like, “I'm thinking about you. For some reason I'm thinking about you right now.”
Diana Weil (08:58):
Yeah, Elara knew, but even before that, that morning that I woke up, I was a hot … do you remember this? I think I even texted you; I was a hot mess, and I was like, “I hate children. I don't want to have a baby. Why am I pregnant right now?”
Elara Hadjipateras (09:10):
Yeah. There was a bit of a meltdown. There was a bit of a meltdown.
Diana Weil (09:12):
I cried all day. I even called my brother, and I was like, “Did we make the biggest mistake in the world? Why are we having a baby? This is terrible.” I called my mom, and I think everyone else was like, “Okay, she's probably going into labor if she's just emotional.”
But in my mind, I was just distraught. I tried to sleep in our guest bedroom because I was like, “My husband doesn't love me. I don't love my husband.” So, I tried to sleep in the guest bedroom, which thankfully I didn't because Harley came and picked me up from the guest bedroom and was like, “You're not sleeping in here.”
Which by the way, I was nine months pregnant. So, that's a feat in and of itself. He brings me to our bedroom. We're cuddling. And then I get this … neither of us are nighttime eaters. We fell asleep for like 15 minutes and both woke up just absolutely ravenous.
And we ended up having a bowl of cereal or something like that, which was very unusual. And I think it was my body's way of being like get some nourishment because girl, you're in for it.
And so, we had our bowl of cereal, we went back to bed and about 15 minutes later I woke up with a pretty intense contraction and I look at my phone and Elara had texted me being like, “Hey, I'm thinking about you.” And she was in Hawaii at the time, we were closer (timewise).
So, I get this text from Elara and I'm like, “Elara, I think I just had a contraction. But I know how labor works because I've been listening to a lot of these birth podcasts, so it's probably for the next couple days I'm going to be in labor and I'll let you know how it goes. I love you.”
But she knew, her spidey senses were going off. So, I get this pretty intense contraction and I'm like, “Man, this is going to be pretty intense.” But I was anticipating and what I had wanted, I had a doula. I was planning to stay at home for as long as possible. I was planning to labor at home for like 10, 12 hours.
I was anticipating a 24-hour, 30-hour labor, because that's what tends to happen with first time moms. I was going to stay at home as long as possible. We were going to go into the hospital. I was planning to do it without an epidural.
Elara Hadjipateras (11:14):
Wait, can I just ask one thing?
Diana Weil (11:15):
Yeah.
Elara Hadjipateras (11:18):
My cervix was slightly dilated when I went in for my c-section. Did you have any of the whole, the mucus plug, or any other signs of going into labor besides the contractions?
Diana Weil (11:29):
Yes. So, because I was IVF, they wanted to induce me at 39 weeks, which I was very, very against. And I knew that come 40 weeks, my due date, the pressure to induce was going to be a lot higher. And I didn't want to induce because I knew that it made labor potentially longer and harder. And I was trying to go for this unmedicated birth experience. So, I did a membrane sweep at my 39-week appointment.
Elara Hadjipateras (11:55):
What is that? Yeah.
Diana Weil (11:56):
They go in, it's kind of like if you take-
Elara Hadjipateras (12:00):
Yeah, show us with the hands.
Diana Weil (12:01):
If you're peeling an orange like the peel away from the orange, they go in and they sweep the peel away from the lining basically is what they're trying to do. It's very uncomfortable.
Jon Gay (12:13):
I don't even have those parts and I’m wincing!
Diana Weil (12:15):
It's very personal.
Elara Hadjipateras (12:17):
I feel violated right now, like my orange that I don't even have, I want to just take it and …
Diana Weil (12:22):
I mean I really loved the midwife who was doing it, but there was a moment where her fingers, you know, were up there and you have to do it twice. So, then we're just having a conversation while her fingers are — it’s very uncomfortable.
So, that triggered my membrane, or my mucus plug to start … I started losing my mucus plug and then I had been having cramps for the last six weeks, so I was like, “Okay, maybe labor's close.” And then I lost my mucus plug and then I started crying.
And then that night I had my first really intense contraction. And looking back, it all makes sense as to why my birth went the way that it did. Because I think that my body had been sort of in early labor for like six weeks. So, I had this really intense contraction, and I was like, “Man, I thought the early labor was kind of going to be — not easy. It's still labor.
Elara Hadjipateras (13:16):
Question. When you went in for the membrane sweep, that's a really nice way to put it. I don’t know. I mean, that's not what I would call it. The sweep. How dilated were you?
Diana Weil (13:27):
I think I was at a four. I think I was at a four. But they tell you that that doesn't matter so much because your dilation can change very quickly. And that what also matters is … and I'm not going to get this correct, but the station of the baby, how low they are, that there's like three or four or five things that they look at.
And we focus on dilation when really there's like other things that matter more than dilation. But I think I was at a four and then I lost my mucus plug. So, my body was getting ready. So, I wake up with this contraction, it's intense. And I hardly was sleeping.
And I was like, “Okay, I'm going to go into the living room. I'm going to labor by myself. I'm going to let him sleep because I'm going to need him in 10 hours.”
Elara Hadjipateras (14:07):
Were the dogs or the cats reacting in any way this time?
Diana Weil (14:09):
Everyone's asleep. No, everyone’s asleep.
Elara Hadjipateras (14:12):
The cat didn't come and like meow like something’s going on.
Diana Weil (14:13):
No, it was just you and me. Just you and me, Elara. I was just texting you.
Elara Hadjipateras (14:17):
Wow. Well, I'm glad I was there.
Diana Weil (14:20):
I think in between, I think I was texting you because I was like-
Elara Hadjipateras (14:23):
Yeah, because I remember the first time you texted me, you were like, “Oh, I think it was it, but I don't think it was — you answered me back thinking like, “Oh yeah, maybe,” but no, it was like a yes, no. And then yes. Yeah.
Diana Weil (14:33):
Yeah. So, in my mind I was like, “I'm going to go and labor by myself in the living room,” and then immediately I get hit with another really intense contraction and then that contraction dies down. But there's no break.
The way that I understood labor and again, I listen to all these birthing podcasts, I try to do all this prep work so that I could have an unmedicated birth was that you have a contraction and then you have a total break, and then you get a contraction, and then you get a break.
And it's supposed to be somewhat of a pattern. Although early labor can be, you get a contraction, you have 10 minutes, you get a contraction, you have eight minutes. So, it's like not … yeah, but waves. And so, that's what I was expecting.
Immediately, I was in active labor with no break in between contractions. And my contractions were lasting over a minute. We went to these birthing classes, and they told us to go to the hospital at 5-1-1 actually, when it's been — Jon, what was it? You're our birthing expert all of a sudden.
Jon Gay (15:29):
Five minutes apart, one minute long, and a one-hour duration, say the interwebs.
Diana Weil (15:34):
Okay. So, our doula had said we'll do it more like a 4-1-1 or even a 3-1-1. But I immediately went into one minute long, one minute apart contractions, and then in between the contractions I was cramping. So, there was never a break.
And I called my mom at midnight, and she goes to sleep at 8:30. So, I was desperate, and I hate waking people up, but I was scared because this wasn't how labor was supposed to happen, which, you know “supposed to” because labor doesn't happen the way … that part of labor.
And she was like, “Diana, I think you need to go to the hospital. I think that you're an active or transition, you need to go to the hospital.” And I was like, “Mom, you're insane. I've been in labor for 30 seconds. I'm not going to the hospital.”
And then I got another contraction, and I immediately hung up on her because it was so intense I couldn't breathe. And then I started violently shaking, which is like a sign of active transition labor. But at this point, I'd only been in labor three minutes.
So, I go into the bedroom, I wake up Harley, and I'm like, “Harley, I think I'm in labor.” And he comes into the bathroom with me, I get another contraction. And I was like, “You need to call the doula.”
Which I had been texting our doula earlier. But we had been setting up plans for the future, saying, “Hey, I'm going to get you in this group text message so that when it's time, you'll know what to do.” But we hadn't even gotten to the point of call us when you're ready.
And all of a sudden Harley calls our doula, who, if there's anyone out there listening who is pregnant, I cannot recommend highly enough a doula. It was our saving grace in this whole experience, loved having her.
So, I say, “Hey, I've been in labor for three minutes, this is really intense.” And she listens to me, have a contraction over the phone and she says, “Diana, you need to go to the hospital.”
So, I get ready and at this point I still had a sense of humor. I was joking with Harley. There's a video that he took of me trying to put my pants on where I'm like, “This isn't the way it's supposed to happen.”
Trying to put my pants on. We're packing. I had packed up all of our stuff, but there was a few things that we needed to put in last minute. And I was like, “We'll have 12 hours once labor starts, so we're good to go.”
So, that didn't end up happening. So, Harley's frantically running around the house, I'm showing him the list while I'm having a contraction every minute. And then zero downtime. Takes us probably 20 minutes to pack up as we're leaving my water breaks on our nice white couch.
So, I had to come home and clean that up. So, we get in the car, and again, I still have a little bit of a sense of humor at this point. Harley's driving, thankfully there's no traffic, there's no one on the road. I think it's about 1:00 AM at this point.
He drives up to the hospital, drops me off, and I'm outside leaning against the railing. I'm in so much pain. There's still zero breaks in between contractions. He goes and parks the car. We walk in together, we go up to the hospital room and everything that I had heard was that once you get in, they do a cervical check to see if they can admit you, because you have to be a certain point in birth, or they'll send you home.
And at this point I still was like, this isn't happening. Labor does not go this fast. They're going to send me home. And they took one look at me and immediately admitted me. They didn't even take a cervical check. They were like she's in active labor or transition.
And for anyone listening, there's three points of labor. There's early labor, which is generally the longest, lasts anywhere between 8, 12, whatever hours. And then there's active labor, which is where I was at the point of where things are moving very quickly. And then there's transition, which is the part where you're eight centimeters, seven centimeters dilated. Things start to move really quickly.
And that's usually the point where if you're going unmedicated, you start to say, “I can't do this. I want an epidural.” All the things that I was screaming, I wasn't screaming at this point. So, they get us into this room. I was a part of this program called the Simply Birth Program, which was for people who maybe wanted a birthing center birth, but in the safety of a hospital.
So, it was designed for women like myself who maybe wanted to go unmedicated. It was all run by midwives, which I loved. So, it was this big, beautiful birthing suite. There was a wonderful labor nurse who checked me in.
She turned down the lights, she got the bathtub ready for me. She gave me these silver balls that have spikes on them to grab. Because the idea is, is if that you can create pain elsewhere in your body that you can kind of desensitize the contractions.
So, we'd only been at the hospital about 15 minutes, and I was already like, “I want an epidural.” My plan was failing. This was not how things were supposed to go. I was supposed to have breaks. I was supposed to be dancing in the kitchen with my husband.
Elara Hadjipateras (20:24):
Well, before I knew I was having a scheduled C-section, I bought a puzzle. I was like, “I'm going to be puzzling.” I got this cute little puzzle of dogs playing poker. I was like, “I'm going to do that. I'm going to cuddle with my dogs. I'm going to take a bath. I'm going to bake some cookies and bring them for the nurses.” It’s like I'm going to be a superstar.
Jon Gay (20:44):
Look at you, both of you with your best laid plans.
Diana Weil (20:47):
With our best laid plans. I know. And it's so funny because again, I listened to all these birth podcasts. That was one of the major ways that I prepped for birth. And every time I listened to someone's birth experience, the first birth was always like a little bit of a hot mess and never went to plan.
And then the second birth was their sort of redemption story. And in my mind, I was like, “Well, I wonder if that's going to happen to me.” And then it did.
So, 15 minutes in I'm like, “Give me the epidural.” Our doula doesn't think that she's going to make the birth because things are progressing so fast. She was worried about not getting there in time.
And Harley and I had done a lot of prep work of when I ask for an epidural, I think that there's a balance for husbands when your wife wants a non-medicated birth of don't deny her the epidural, but also support her in her plans.
And so, Harley was trying to be like, “Can you wait five more minutes for Robin to get here?” That was our doula. “Can you wait five more minutes for Robin to get here? Can you give me one more contraction? She's going to be here in one more contraction.”
And so, I was like, “Okay, I can wait for Robin. I can give you one more contraction.” So, Robin gets there. I had heard that getting in the water was nature's epidural. That's a bunch of … a word that I can't say.
Elara Hadjipateras (22:03):
It’s a bunch of shit. I think it's the word you're looking for, Diana.
Diana Weil (22:07):
That was not nature's epidural. So, we get in the bathtub. It was pretty intense at this point. There was a moment where I was screaming and then I was like, this isn't helping me. So, at that point I tuned into my body. I really tried to breathe through it.
I think I looked at my doula at one point and I was like, “Why is having an unmedicated birth important to me? Why am I doing this?” And she was like, “That's a good question. Harley, why is she doing this?”
Elara Hadjipateras (22:36):
By the way, did you have any sort of birthing playlist?
Diana Weil (22:41):
Yes, yes. We didn't even have a chance to turn that on because things were going so fast. I made like an intense birth — Jameson, who was a guest on our podcast season one. He actually made me a birthing playlist. So, I have a calm one and then a strength one.
Jon Gay (22:58):
It wasn't like Johnny Cash “Ring of Fire,” was it?
Diana Weil (23:00):
That's funny. That should be on there. We didn't even have a chance. I packed a whole bag full of birthing tools. Harley didn't even get a chance to bring our bags up to the hospital because things were just so fast.
So, they called in the midwife, I'd only been there for like 30 minutes and they called in the midwife, and she just was in the room with us. And looking back, it's because they thought that I was like essentially ready to push within an hour of going into labor.
And I looked at them and I was like, “I want the epidural.” And they were like, “Oh honey, you're going to have a baby. It's too late for the epidural.” And I remember being like, “Okay, this is wild.”
Elara Hadjipateras (23:43):
Did you still have your little metal balls at this point?
Diana Weil (23:45):
Had my metal balls. I was in the bathtub.
Jon Gay (23:47):
Did you throw them at anybody when they told you “no” on the epidural?
Elara Hadjipateras (23:50):
Yeah. I'm like, did you throw them at their face?
Diana Weil (23:51):
I think I was just like deer in the headlights, like, “Oh my gosh, this is what I wanted, but why did I want this?” And this point I asked for a cervical check because I was like, “This is wild. There's no breaks.” Again, I wasn't having a break. I wasn't hooked up to any wires because I was part of this Simple Birth Program.
So, every now and then they would come in and check the heartbeat, but I wasn't connected to anything. It was essentially like I was at home or in a birthing center, which was really nice.
Elara Hadjipateras (24:19):
So, you asked for the cervical check. Your midwife did not recommend, or your doula did not recommend it?
Diana Weil (24:24):
There was maybe one time when the doula recommended it. And then one time when I asked for it. And I was at seven centimeters, which is when you start transitioning out of active labor and into transitioning.
And so, they were like, “You got this, you're in it, you're close. We're like 45 minutes out from having a baby.” And my contractions were — there was one contraction that was two and a half minutes long. Which is wild because most contractions tend to be a minute long.
Elara Hadjipateras (24:57):
Can you just try and describe to us who have not felt contractions, what it felt like.
Diana Weil (25:04):
It was like the most … and I know that this is different for everybody. I didn't have any back labor, which I was really grateful for. If I had back labor, I was out. I told my doula, I was like, “I'm not down for back labor. If I have back labor, I'm getting an epidural right away.”
Elara Hadjipateras (25:15):
Does that mean pain in your back?
Diana Weil (25:17):
Yeah. Where all of the contractions and all of the spasms you feel in your back, not in your front. So, I didn't have any back labor, which is interesting because we found out later that he was sunny side up.
So, their faces are supposed to be down and his face was up. And when that happens, you tend to get back labor rather than front labor. So, it was just essentially like the most intense cramping I've ever had in my life. Just really intense basically period cramps.
But it was like, take my breath away. I couldn't focus on anything else. It was just very intense. And they would start to come down and then they would just level out and I would keep cramping and then I would go back up to an intensity and then come down and just cramp.
So, it was like two and a half minutes was just at a 10 intensity. And then, the only break, I was coming down to like a six intensity. I never got down to like a one.
So, at this point I'd been laboring for about five hours, and we had done a cervical check, I think when I got in and I was at like six centimeters. And then we did a cervical check later I was seven centimeters.
I labored for another 45 minutes, and I was still at seven centimeters. And at that point I was like, “I'm done. I am done. I'm not progressing. This is really intense for me.” So, I got out of the bathtub, they called the anesthesiologist, and it was like, once I made that decision to get the epidural, it could not come fast enough. All of my mental strength was gone, it was like-
Jon Gay (26:50):
Yeah, I think we got our wires crossed here. Because you said they told you “no” on the epidural, but you-
Diana Weil (26:54):
Right. So, they checked me. I was at seven centimeters. They were like, “You're going to have a baby. This is happening really quickly.” And I said, “Okay.” So, I labored for another 45 minutes and then I said, “Can we do another cervical check?” Because they asked, “Are you having the urge to push?” And I said, “There's no urge to push. I'm not feeling anything.”
And so, we did another cervical check. I was still at seven centimeters. So, at this point they were saying, “Okay, things have slowed down. You're kind of stuck at seven centimeters.” I mean, you can labor for hours and stay at the same thing. But I hadn't progressed any further past seven centimeters.
It gets a little blurry, so we might've given it like another 45 minutes and done another cervical check. And I was still at seven centimeters. But either way, I got stuck at seven centimeters. And so, at that point my resolve to do it naturally was done because it was so disheartening to hear that I had been in labor for the last 45 minutes, hour and a half or whatever, and I hadn't progressed any more past seven centimeters.
Elara Hadjipateras (27:56):
Were they able to give you any sort of explanation as to why you got stuck at seven?
Diana Weil (27:59):
No. Not yet. I know a lot of women who've gotten stuck at seven centimeters. And I don't know if it's getting to the hospital or if it's like people coming in and out and your body kind of pulls back because it's like, maybe this isn't the safest time to give birth.
I have a lot of theories on this, but I think everyone knew that I was serious about it because I stopped asking the doula and my husband for the epidural. And I looked directly at the labor and delivery nurse, and I said, “Give me the epidural.”
So, it was no longer like, “Hey, I'm questioning this and maybe talk me out of it.” It was like, “I need this, I'm done.” And so, she put the IV in me, we called the anesthesiologist, I was butt naked. And in comes everyone else in the room except for Harley was a woman. And the anesthesiologist was a man. And he walks in, and I looked at him and I was like, “You are so lucky to have a penis.” (laughter)
Elara Hadjipateras (28:55):
And you're not on any drugs at this point. This is-
Diana Weil (28:58):
No, no drugs. Just me.
Elara Hadjipateras (29:00):
Wait, and also, can we just rewind the clock? Sorry. Something that I've always heard happens. So, natural birth is maybe you poop your pants. Was there any pooping of the pants and wiping situation?
Diana Weil (29:10):
Yeah. Not yet. So, I think one of the benefits of having early labor is that it kind of clears everything out. And because I didn't have early labor, that didn't happen for me until later.
Elara Hadjipateras (29:25):
So, it did come.
Diana Weil (29:28):
It did. It did come, so-
Elara Hadjipateras (29:29):
Jon, are you okay? You're nonverbal. This is starting to get a little messy.
Jon Gay (29:34):
No, I'm good. I'm just here to make the two of you sound and look the best. And you're doing a great job of that on your own.
Diana Weil (29:44):
Listen, we said that nothing was off the table here. So, I'm giving it to you guys straight.
Elara Hadjipateras (29:51):
Alright, continue. Sorry, sorry.
Diana Weil (29:53):
The anesthesiologist comes in. I was very concerned about getting an epidural because I had heard that sometimes you get an epidural headache from it not being administered correctly, which is essentially a migraine that lasts three to five days and you cannot get out of bed. It's so intense.
Jon Gay (30:11):
Because it's in your spine, connected to your brain.
Diana Weil (30:13):
Because it's in your spine. So, I was nervous to get an epidural. I had a really wonderful anesthesiologist, but the problem was that my contractions were so intense, and I wasn't getting any breaks that it wasn't like, “Okay, let me do this while you have a break, and you can stay still.”
And one of the ways that you avoid this epidural headache is by not moving. So, I had to go through these contractions while he was also inserting the largest needle I'd ever seen into my spine. And he wanted me to lay on my side. I couldn't lay on my side because it was too painful.
So, I had to sit up and bend over, similar I think, to what Elara did. So, he gave me the epidural, and I think within a couple minutes I started feeling relief, which was really wonderful.
You can press the button, they give you this little click button that you can press every — I can't remember, 45 minutes or something like that, which can up the amount of medication that you're given. I only had to press it once, which was nice.
So, at this point, it kind of felt like everyone in the room could take a breath because things had been moving so fast. Again, we didn't even have our bags. I didn't have my playlist, like nothing. It was just zero to 100 immediately.
So, I got the epidural, I was finally comfortable. Harley went down, he got our bags, we turned on music. And then I started getting, really — to be honest, I almost had a panic attack because I couldn't … I had some sensation I could move my left leg, but I couldn't move my right leg.
And I started getting really anxious because I didn't have movement of my — I couldn't move my body. At first, I was like, okay, I got the epidural. I don't need my doula anymore. She was wonderful. She was really helpful. And now we're here. It's going to be chill.
But she was amazing throughout the whole process. She came and she moved my legs, and she helped Harley. One of the problems with getting an epidural is that when you're in labor, you're supposed to move a lot, which can help get the baby into an optimal birthing … help the baby move through the birth canal. And when you're stuck in one position, sometimes that can delay or just prolong labor.
And so, she would move me from right to left. She moved my legs; she helped me breathe through the panic attack that I was having. Highly recommend a doula. Harley took a little nap. I tried to sleep. I couldn't sleep
I was still at seven centimeters five hours later, which at this point I was so grateful that I got the epidural because I wasn't going to make mentally. I think it's all a mental game. Labor, I think, is all 95% a mental game. And I was out of the mental game. So, I was stuck at seven centimeters for quite a while. And-
Elara Hadjipateras (33:00):
Question, have you had anything to eat at this point?
Diana Weil (33:03):
Nothing to eat. Nothing to eat. In my hospital, they don't let you eat once you get the epidural, in case they have to put you under general anesthesia or something's wrong. I was against that. So, I had brought my own little snack bag and-
Elara Hadjipateras (33:18):
And you didn't start snacking because I was all about-
Diana Weil (33:21):
I wasn't hungry.
Elara Hadjipateras (33:22):
Illegal snacks.
Diana Weil (33:23):
Yeah. So, I brought applesauce, I brought a few snacks.
Jon Gay (33:27):
Disclaimer, we are not providing medical advice that you should eat after getting the epidural.
Diana Weil (33:32):
No. This was all me. This was all me. I did this a hundred percent. I snuck it in between the nurse. I did have some applesauce. I did throw it up. So, I don't know that I recommend — not recommending it.
Elara Hadjipateras (33:44):
Maybe the parameters are put in place for a reason.
Diana Weil (33:45):
Yeah. So, because I had gotten stuck at seven centimeters, I did have quite a few cervical checks. And I don't know if this is part of the reason of everything that went down, but I was getting quite a few cervical checks, and I eventually did make it to 10 centimeters.
And I think it was because my doula kept moving me from side to side. I did have some movement in my legs, which is really nice. So, I could get on my hands and knees, I could turn over. But then occasionally if I was on one side for too long that the leg that was down would fall asleep.
So, it was kind of this balancing act of my anxiety for not being able to move my legs and moving me from side to side.
But honestly at this point, I look back at this day, even though nothing went to plan, as the most blissful day of my life, and I was really, really wanting to do an unmedicated birth. And looking back, getting the epidural was the best thing that I ever did. It just made it so calm, so lovely, so wonderful.
So, anyways, I finally made it to 10 centimeters. I think just from moving, from relaxing, I think that my body was able to let go finally and get me to 10 centimeters. But because I was having so many cervical checks in my mind, I think that this was part of the problem.
I got an infection, so I got a fever. And up until this point, Elio had been doing great. His heart rate was great, there was no concern. But as soon as I got the fever, his heart rate started to spike quite a bit.
And I remember looking at my midwife at one point, and I said, “How concerned are you on a scale from 1 to 10?” And she was like, “I'm at a 9.” Because I had been laboring for so long, I was starting to get a fever, and his heart rate wasn't doing so well. And at that point I was like, “Okay, this isn't so great.”
So, I got to 10 centimeters, they said I could start pushing. And I was like, “Okay, amazing. I'm not going to need a c-section, and I can start pushing.” And this was actually the part of labor that I liked the most because I had something to do rather than just lying in bed, letting it happen to me. It kind of felt like I could take a little bit of control.
So, we would do three contractions on my left side, three contractions on my back, and three contractions on my right side where I would push. So, I'd push for the three contractions and then we would change positions.
And I didn't realize, but pushing is pretty intense. I mean, I guess I should have realized that, but you really push until you give it everything you have. So, it was quite physical, and I would hold my legs, so it was a lot.
And we realized pretty quickly that I wasn't getting anywhere with pushing. So, what we found out was that Elio was trying to come out with his ear rather than straight out. So, his head was turned quite a bit, and then he was also sunny side up.
So, what we tried doing was the midwife would try turning him while I was pushing, so she would have her hands inside me trying to adjust his head while I was pushing to see if we could straighten him out. And we did a whole bunch of contractions like that.
She then went and got the OB who was on duty, who I'd never met before, who turned out to be really lovely, loved him, but she said, “He's got stronger hands than I do, so maybe he can get his head in a better position.” My doula then asked her, “What are your recommendations? What do you think?” It had been, I think three and a half hours of me pushing.
Jon Gay (37:16):
Oh, my God. Not to mention you had the whole calvary backed up inside you at that point too.
Diana Weil (37:21):
Right. Exactly. So, the midwife said that only 3% of first-time mothers can deliver a sunny side up baby vaginally. And the OB came in at this point and said, “We're up against a little bit of a clock here because you have an infection. His heart rate's not going so well. We've let you push for three and a half hours.”
And I don't know Elara, how you feel, but I feel like there's a really big push against hospitals and hospital births because women say, “I don't want to be on a cascade of interventions.” And that hospitals can be really pushy. I never found that.
And even when they said, “Hey, it might be time for a c-section,” I never felt pushed into it. They said, “Do you want to do this for another 30 minutes?”
So, my midwife and I tried one more thing. We were going to try to back him up to see if we could straighten him out and then push him through. That didn't work. I cried for 15 minutes because they were like, “Hey, here's the situation. We probably need to go into a c-section.”
They left the room; I cried for 15 minutes. I was pretty upset the fact that I had labored for 16 hours. We didn't get anywhere. I think he descended a centimeter for pushing for four hours. But at that point I was like, “Okay, this is what needs to happen for me and the baby.”
They gave me a stronger epidural. They brought me back, then it was a very similar story to Elara except for the fact that he came out, they had to pull him out by his foot because when they cut me open, he spun.
And I think he was so stuck in my birth canal that they couldn't get him out with his upper body. They had to pull him out by his foot. And the OB was like, “I've heard about this happening, but this has never happened to me.”
Elara Hadjipateras (39:08):
And meanwhile, by the way, I have to say Diana's husband is watching all of this.
Diana Weil (39:12):
Oh, yeah. He was peeking over the curtain, so he's seen the insides of my body, which is whole level of intimacy. So, they pulled him out by his foot, and they pressed his face against this clear curtain that we had, and he wasn't crying.
And so, they immediately pulled him back into NICU, hardly got to go with him. And they're sewing me up and I'm not getting any updates, so that part of the birth wasn't so-
Elara Hadjipateras (39:38):
And didn't you have the thing where you were like shaking?
Diana Weil (39:40):
I was violently shaking. I was so nauseous. And the anesthesiologist was like, “Don't worry, that's going to go away when they put your uterus back in your body.”
Jon Gay (39:48):
Whoa.
Diana Weil (39:50):
So, intense. It was intense. Harley got to go with him though, into the NICU. He was on the CPAP machine for about 30 minutes. They sewed me up. They brought me back into my birthing room. And at this point I was just a mess. I was shaking, I was nauseous, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold him because I was shaking so badly.
And when they brought him into me, he was crying. And as soon as they put him on my chest, he stopped crying and I stopped shaking, which was really sweet because it was like our bodies just knew that we needed to be together.
And then he latched immediately, and it was like this really beautiful moment. So, it wasn't ideal. It was a pretty wild ride. And I still look back at it as very blissful. I do have a hard time saying that I gave birth though, interestingly, because I feel like, I knew that c-sections could happen. I just never knew that it was going to happen to me, ever. It was like shocked beyond belief that happened to me.
Jon Gay (40:49):
If I may, as the male observer to this conversation, having never been through this and not having kids myself. I understand where you're coming from to say you feel like you didn't give birth, but in hearing you tell the story, Diana, you did more work than a lot of people who have had a natural birth. I don't think you have any reason to hang your head in shame here.
Diana Weil (41:12):
Thank you for saying that. And that is something that my doula, she stuck around a little bit afterwards and she was like, “Honey, you worked so hard. You worked so hard, and this is what needed to happen.”
And she said … for anyone who is listening who doesn't know, we went through IVF. So, she said, “You worked really hard to get him in and you worked really hard to get him out.”
Jon Gay (41:34):
There's a previous episode of our podcast in season one talking about Diana and Elara's fertility journeys that I'd encourage anybody interested to go back and check that out too.
Diana Weil (41:43):
Yeah. So, anyways, totally wild ride. Still the best day of my life. And recovering from a c-section is a brutal, but Elara, I worked really hard during the birth but you worked really hard after the birth. Can you tell everyone what happened after Koa?
Elara Hadjipateras (42:00):
As I kind of said before, as far as my actual birth story, it was for all intents and purposes, pretty enjoyable. It lasted all of 19 minutes. There was no pain. So, much like Diana, as soon as I had Koa on my chest, he latched right away.
We had no problem in the beginning as far as nursing and breastfeeding goes, which there's always a part of my mind that was a little bit worried about that. So, that was all going great.
And then I had lots of family visiting. I have a big Greek family on my husband's side. I have a big Spanish Portuguese family on my side. So, it was kind of like, there was a parade of people coming in and I was very happy for people to be coming in because everything had gone pretty smoothly.
I'm feeling pretty good at this point. They say that as far as the epidural goes, the drugs and stuff, it stays into your system for about 24 hours. So, you don't really start feeling what your body has gone through until the second day. That's when it kind of hits you like a Mack Truck.
And then they're kind of like, “Alright, we're trying to get you moving out of the bed, going to the bathroom by yourself.” They're doing checks. The doctor's coming in every hour or two, they're taking your temperature, they're taking your blood pressure, they're looking at your scar, they're making sure you’re ok…
It's very normal after any birth, including c-section is to be passing blood and they say any sort of clot that comes out is okay, as long as it's smaller than a golf ball.
Diana Weil (43:28):
Wild. That's wild.
Elara Hadjipateras (43:30):
It's super wild. Yeah. And that can be the case for a few weeks. And so, everything is normal on that end from me. The other thing they do after you have a c-section is I don’t know if they did this to you Diana, is they put these boots on my shins and my feet to encourage circulation to decrease the risk of blood clots.
So, I'm lying there. I got my little boots on. I was happy that I didn't have to take any opioids or any of that type of medication. I was just kind of on this like Advil Tylenol regimen every six to eight hours, everything's going great. I had my first meal after the baby. I wanted Jersey Mike's. I wanted a big Italian sub. I got my big Italian sub, that was delicious.
A lot of the family was visiting. They were holding the baby, passing him around like a hot potato. He was doing great. I was doing great. I wasn't able to partake in changing diapers because I was bedridden.
So, I was really enjoying watching my husband kind of having to take the lead on changing the diapers. And then it was all good.
So, we have health insurance, I have a health insurance coverage through my husband and basically our insurance covered staying up to four nights. We had said, “Oh, why don't we just do the four nights,” because they will let you leave the hospital as early as three days after a c-section at the hospital I was at.
It's about seven minutes down the road from my house. So, there was that nice convenient factor where Peter was able to leave and like go shower and stuff and come back. And at that point, I was very stable.
So, he was going back and forth and so we just said, “Why not? Why don't we stay an extra night?” Because they came in on the third day kind of ready to discharge me. They were like, “All your numbers look great. Scars looking great, everything's great, great, great.”
And I kind of was like, “Actually our insurance covers an extra night. We're just going to stay the extra night just because.” And so, the third day comes, it passes. It's the morning of the fourth day when I'm going to be leaving the hospital. Everything's fine.
They come in; they do the usual check. They come in with the white device and they put the thing on your finger for the oxygen levels. They put the thermometer in to check your temperature. They take your blood pressure.
And so, this time when the nurse comes in, she kind of looks at it and she's like, “Huh.” And then she takes it again. And so, then she leaves. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't like tell me what she see. She leaves.
Jon Gay (45:50):
Never a good sign.
Elara Hadjipateras (45:51):
I know. Never. And I'm kind of like, “Huh, that was weird.” And Peter's asleep on the couch. And then she comes back in and has the main charge nurse with her. And at the time, she comes back in and I'm nursing and she kind of was like, “Oh, did she come in and happen to take your numbers and stuff while you were nursing?”
Keep in mind I was kind of like nursing and stuff all around the clock. So, it wasn't unusual for them to be taking my numbers while I was nursing. But she was like, “Oh, maybe that led to a weird reading, hand the baby over to the nurse. We'll put them in kind of the bassinet and we'll take your numbers again.”
So, they take my numbers and my blood pressure was super high. It was in the 140s and then kind of increasing and they started asking me these questions like, “Do you have any sort of headache? Do you have any sort of blurry vision?”
And I was like, “No, I feel fine. I mean, granted, I haven't really slept that much in the last 48 hours, but overall, I feel really good. I feel as normal as I guess I could feel at that point.” And then they leave and then they come back with the doctor on call, who was actually the doctor who I saw throughout my pregnancy since I moved back to the us at six months pregnant and who actually delivered Koa.
And so, he comes in and he takes my blood pressure and at this point, I'm kind of getting nervous. So, by the time he takes it, I'm in the 160s and he looks at me and he just goes, “You're not leaving the hospital today. We got to keep you here. And I'm going to go and meet with the other doctors and come up with a plan.”
They still haven't really explained to me what's going on, looking back at the time when I look back at photos of myself then, I had a ton of water retention. And in my last three weeks of pregnancy, I had actually gained another 10 pounds, which is unusual.
It's not like I was like overdoing it and eating egg McMuffins every morning. But I was kind of like ballooning, and I stayed a balloon afterwards and it almost worsened in my face and in my upper body.
And so, time's passing, I'm pretty nervous. Peter's there, I'm kind of crying at this point. I just want to go home. At this point, the hospital bed's uncomfortable, the lights are uncomfortable, people are poking and prodding me. I just want to go home.
And they come back in, they're like, “Alright, basically all of these signs — they came in and they took my blood and then I guess there was something unusual in my blood work that made them come to the conclusion that I was experiencing postpartum preeclampsia.
So, essentially that's just where your body goes into the state of shock, where it's just rejecting the fact that you've just had a baby and it's just everything is crashing and it puts me at a high risk of having a stroke or a heart attack, which is very scary.
As someone who's been pretty healthy my whole life and never had to deal knock on wood with any health issues like that.
Jon Gay (48:39):
And young by the way.
Elara Hadjipateras (48:40):
And young. It wasn't like a geriatric pregnancy or anything like that. And so, I was a bit shellshocked and they were like, “Alright, we're going to take you, we're going to shift you over to another part of the hospital where you're going to get hooked up to a mag drip.”
So, and they said, while I'm hooked up to this magnesium drip, I'm not allowed to eat anything. I can only have clear liquids. And they were like, “We're going to stick a catheter back in you because it's really important for us to keep track.” Don't worry. This has I guess a funny part of it. They're like, “We need to keep track of your liquids, what's going in and out?”
Because that's I guess one of the things that can happen. And that's no bueno. And I was like, “I don't want a catheter stuck inside me again, that puts me at risk of a UTI and all types of other things.” And like infections. Like, “No, I don't want to do that. I can do a bed pan instead.”
My husband, he can change my bed pan and he can put the bed pan, I can lift up my hips, he can put the bed pan underneath me and he can then pour it into this container where he would measure it. And Peter was like, “I'm going to do what?” And I'm like, “Yes you are.”
And it's funny because the nurse left and basically came back with three of the nurses and they're like, “Yeah, she's being a difficult patient. She's refusing the catheter, patient is refusing the catheter, we're going to have to do the bed pan.”
And then there was just one nurse out of the three of them that kind of went to me and was like, “Good for you. A lot of people wouldn't know to ask for that, they just go with what they tell you.”
So, I actually did experience some bullying in the hospital. I even actually also had a nurse who was trying to push opioids on me. She's like, “You sure you don't want something a little bit stronger?” And I was like, “I'm good. I'm good at this point.” I'm like, “I need to be as alert as possible in this situation while I can be, because God knows what's going to happen.”
So, they moved me over to this room and they're like, “Alright, basically yeah, the reason they wanted to put the catheter in is because when you're on a mag drip, it can lead to disorientation, and you possibly be fainting.”
So, they would not let me get out of the bed to go to the bathroom. They would not let me do anything.
Diana Weil (50:29):
Could you nurse Koa on the mag drip?
Elara Hadjipateras (50:31):
So, I was scared about that, but I could, so that was okay. And one of the things I thought of is that bone broth is a clear liquid. So, I had my mom, who was also there at the time, go out to the store and just get me like a ton of bone broth and I was just like chugging bone broth like it was my job.
And one of my sister-in-laws had gotten me a Stanley Cup, a 40-ounce Stanley Cup as a gift. So, that was my best friend. I was just like, “Yep, that's what I'm talking about.” I was just chugging that as much as possible.
And so, poor Peter. I was like, “Peter, bed pan time,” every 30 to 45 minutes he was changing the bedpan. There was like, I think three or four times I called the nurses to do it because I had to like let the poor guy sleep for longer than 45 minutes at a time.
But I felt like I was a prisoner. And then they were coming in every hour taking my blood pressure, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Was still nursing. Everything was fine. And then after 24 hours of being on the mag drip, towards the end of it, my blood pressure was going down.
Things were looking better. I had a really nice nurse at that point who made a point of checking my blood pressure when she could see that I was the most calm. So, she'd do it when I was able to be resting and sleeping with Koa on my chest.
She would do it when I was talking to Peter or talking to my mom and a bit distracted and it was dropping down into the low 140s, high 130s at this point. So, things were looking good.
So, I get off the mag drip and then now the doctor comes in and she's like, “Alright, here's the way it's going to work. We're going to do three to four readings, and as long as those readings are under this number,” they wanted it to be under 140. “We will let you leave the hospital, and you can be discharged.”
“If it's over this number, we have to keep you here and figure up basically putting you on a blood pressure medication because you're still at a high risk of a stroke or a heart attack.”
Diana Weil (52:22):
Okay, but what a great way for your blood pressure to spike.
Elara Hadjipateras (52:24):
To rise.
Diana Weil (52:24):
Because you want to go home.
Elara Hadjipateras (52:26):
So, that's exactly what was happening. So, they kept coming in and basically every time they came in to take my blood pressure, I was having a panic attack. And it was like, they would take it, and it would, it would be high 140s. They would take it again, it would go up, they'd take it again, it'd go up to 160. And I was like, “Just please leave the room.”
And I was freaking out and I was crying. I had multiple meltdowns to my mom, to Peter just being like, “I just want to go home. I just want to take a shower. I just want to be in my house.” I was begging the doctors.
I said, “My dad's a general practitioner, he can watch me. I have a maternity nurse. It will be okay, just let me leave.” (Pauses) It's making me emotional obviously just thinking about it. It was just like; I felt like a prisoner and it sucked.
So, then eventually, there was another really nice nurse who was like, “Okay, I got you. I'm going to leave the room.” Because they basically had me hooked up to this automatic machine that was just like with a cuff that would take my blood pressure without me realizing it.
She was like, “So, I'm going to leave the room and I'm going to put this cuff on you and it's going to start taking your blood pressure without you having a doctor right in front of you, so maybe you won't experience as much white coat syndrome.”
And so, they leave, and at first that's working, but then she still was like, “Okay, we have to take one final measurement.” And of course it was like I got the first two down. It was like they wanted three. I got the first two in a good range. And then by the last one I freaked out again. So, I was like, “Alright, this sucks.”
So, then we kind of figured out while the nurse and the doctors were out of the room that Peter could press a button on this machine to just decide when to have the cuff take my blood pressure. And so, I was doing some breathing techniques.
I was doing box breathing, which if you're not familiar with it, basically the amount of time you inhale to the amount of time you hold your breath, exhale, and then the bottom of breath are all equal.
So, I was doing all this box breathing and Peter started being the one pressing the button. And lo and behold my blood pressure started lowering, but still kind of right on that line of where they didn't want it, and they wanted it. So, the doctor came in and at this point I've been in the hospital for six and a half days and I'm just dying to go home as I've said.
And she's like, “We're going to have to put you on some blood pressure medications.” And then meanwhile there's a lot of other births happening. They were understaffed. So, she comes in and she tells me this information, then I had to wait three to four hours to even get the medication.
So, that's making me anxious. They come, they give me a dose, it's a pretty low dose. And then they're like, “Alright, now we have to observe how you react to that for the next three to four hours.”
And lo and behold, it did help lower it a little bit under that line. And eventually, the nurse came in, she took my blood pressure, it was right on the line, and I just was like, “I need to go home. I need to go home. I have my doctor.
I mean, I have my dad who's my doctor. He will take care of me. I clearly have a case of white coat syndrome. If things turn sideways or don't go well, I will be back here tomorrow. There's no question about it. But my dad, we have machines at home to measure my blood pressure. I just need to leave.”
And power to her. She was like, “Okay, I'm going to let you go home.” And I went home. It ended up being then day seven and I got home around like 9:00 PM at night. Not the usual discharge time where my family had set up all these little signs along my driveway with storks and like it's a boy and stuff. I didn't see any of that stuff because it was 9:00 PM and I was just in a state of stupor and just wanting to go home and I was just so happy.
And we got home, and things got better right away. My blood pressure dropped into the 130, which is healthy for most people, but I'm someone who has a very low natural resting heart rate and blood pressure. So, I'm usually a 90 over 60 or at high is like 110.
So, it took about two to three weeks for it to come back into that range. And I was taking blood pressure medication at least twice a day. And a dose that was okay while I was breastfeeding. So, that was something that was unexpected to say the least.
And I had to be very careful about what I was eating. I couldn't have too much sodium. I couldn't have too much sweets. Keeping in mind that when you're breastfeeding your body is very hungry. You're just wanting to eat everything and anything and you know that you’re your only child's food source, especially if you're just exclusively breastfeeding, which I was.
So, that was a little nerve wracking, but at least being home I was able to get some rest, take a shower, kind of turn off my brain a little bit. But yeah, it was not a fun experience. But then after about a month, I started feeling like I wasn't in this state of total panic or I could end up having a stroke or heart attack at any time. Which was better than being in a state where I thought I could.
Diana Weil (57:34):
Intense.
Elara Hadjipateras (57:35):
Yes. Intense. It's funny, I kind of told this story with broad strokes at a baby shower I was at the other day. And the faces of people at the table were just like, “Why would you tell me that? I don't want to know this. Everything was good until you got into the weeds a lot.”
Jon Gay (57:51):
And the mom-to-be was, I'm sure, thrilled to hear all of this.
Elara Hadjipateras (57:53):
No, she wasn't at the table. She wasn't at the table. There was another girl at the table who was pregnant that I also went to college with at the time that let's just say we're not the best of friends. And I was like, “Eh, I'm not too upset I upset her.”
But yeah, I guess seeing everyone else's faces because they were sharing their birth stories and everyone was kind of more lighthearted and it was like, “Oh my God, I had to have a catheter and this and that.”
And then when everyone heard mine, it kind of dawned on me how serious of a situation I was in. And the farther away I get from it, the more I realize how scary it was and how serious it was.
Diana Weil (58:31):
Yeah. Especially for me hearing your story is that you didn't have any symptoms. You didn't even know.
Elara Hadjipateras (58:36):
That's, I think what was the crazy part is they kept being like, “Oh, blurred vision or kind of feeling fainty or having a migraine.” I didn't feel any of those things, but I think I was in such a hyper alert state of just needing to care for Koa, the baby. Like I said, I kind of switch off a bit and just wasn't even allowing myself to feel those feelings. Maybe they were present, but I was in denial.
Jon Gay (59:59):
I think as we start to wrap up here, I want to give the both of you a tremendous amount of credit for being so open and honest about your stories. I think maternal health, particularly in this country, and we're not going to get political here, but particularly in this country, is an area that is often overlooked and not discussed as much as it needs to be.
And even as a guy who does not have kids, it didn't work out for me, as fate worked out, to have kids. But I'm so glad the two of you are bringing these issues to the forefront because these stories need to be talked about more.
Diana Weil (59:33):
Yeah.
Elara Hadjipateras (59:33):
Thank you, Jon. That means a lot.
Diana Weil (59:35):
I do want to end on a positive note that while things didn't go as planned, there was a certain level of trauma of having sort of not — it wasn't an emergency c-section, but an urgent c-section, even though things didn't go as planned, the c-section recovery was hard.
Like I said, I still look back at it as a really blissful day and I would do it a thousand times over and it was so worth it. And I never want to scare someone away from having a baby just because birth is intense. It's also beautiful.
Elara Hadjipateras (01:00:08):
It's wild. That's the word I like to use.
Diana Weil (01:00:10):
It’s wild.
Elara Hadjipateras (01:00:11):
It's a wild ride. Yeah. I would do it 10 times over to end up with that face that I see every day. So, it's all worth it. And you come out stronger on the other side.
Well, I think that kind of summarizes our birth stories, doesn't it, Diana? I think we got into so much detail with our birth stories that when we start diving into possibly the fourth trimester and our whole breastfeeding journeys, you're going to have to join us on that for another episode.
Diana Weil (01:00:37):
If you have any questions about what we shared or if you want to share your birth story with us, let us know. You can DM us on Instagram and join us next week for another episode.
Elara Hadjipateras (01:00:50):
We'll promise to keep it spicy.
Voiceover (01:00:52):
Sip, savor, and live well with new episodes of The Matcha Guardians every Wednesday. Follow our show for free on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you're listening right now. Leave your questions and comments below. Find us on Instagram at The Matcha Guardians or click on matcha.com.